Glimmer

Dear Mom,

This morning was SO good. It felt like a glimmer of the sweet spot of parenting. A moment I want to freeze and hold onto forever, and yet a glimpse into my future as L and E grow into independent adults. It seems there comes a moment when parents realize their kids are adults and don’t know exactly when it happened. This morning felt like a moment I can pinpoint the shift. Like a secret look through a window that I wasn’t supposed to see. An awareness, a moment, that can so easily pass by without notice. I noticed.

I didn’t have to wake anyone up, both made decisions on their own to wake early to accomplish a task to start their day. THEY made that decision, ON. THEIR. OWN! There was no fighting or attitude. No shaking them to wake, resorting to turning on lights and other tactics that just frustrate both of us. No pushing them out the door with tears in their eyes. No rush over something forgotten the night before. No text from the bus stop followed by a run down the street in my pajamas to deliver a lunch box. There was conversation, laughing, and asking for my help, too. There were lots of decisions made and executed on their own. It was all just light, easy, and lovely.

In the trenches of parenthood, days like today seem like they will never come. Or better yet if they do appear, how often do we brush them off as abnormal and say something like – who are you and where is my child? (My dear, she’s right in front of you, look.) We keep putting in the work and wondering when we will see the fruits of our labor. From the physical toll of newborns and toddlers to the absolute drain of early school age, to the emotional roller coaster of tweens – where I am now. This age has been the realization that time is passing so quickly AND so slowly. The point at which you realize this is a marathon and you’re halfway (yay!) and yet you have so far to go! The second half of the marathon must surely be uphill as the nature of the milestones have shifted. When the thoughts and discussions can feel so much heavier than feeding schedules and naps.

But today, today I looked up from my daily labor of parenting and was able to really see the moment for all that it was. To slow it down and capture it in my mind, and on paper. A moment as if to say, Liz, you’re doing great! Was that you Mom? If it was, thank you. You have no idea how much I needed it.

Love always,

Liz

Leave a comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *